More game harassment

Timmy isn't a fan

Sexy and original

Those are definitely the 2 words I would use to

describe my life

Step it up

Bikini barb part 2

Sorry your "hiness"

Draw something

 

 Remember that game, Draw something? That everyone played obsessively like 3 years ago? My mom learned about it last year. She was horrible at it.  Not that it's super easy to draw on an iphone with your finger anyway, but I mean, she was really bad. Here is a small collection of her work

Joey has no idea

She always has to one up my cat

Group texts

My mom, sister and I have a group text going-more material from there later-and sometimes it's super annoying when you don't want to be a part of the conversation but keep getting all the texts anyway. I don't even have an explanation for whatever is happening in this conversation, I'm just glad my mom has friends as crazy as she is.  "Wake up Lindsey"

Nonsense

This is what most of our texts are.  Absolute nonsense.  I don't even know.

Disney World

Here is a perfect example of her love of Mike.  My parents want to take the family to Disney World and all the dates that worked for her work schedule, didn't work for mine (retail is a bitch). She got mad at me one day when I told her I couldn't take off work over the holiday season, and had me convinced they were actually going to go without me.  They've gone on a family vacation without me twice before (once over Christmas!), so it's actually not that hard to believe.

Confidence booster

Get a life

Canadian

Birthday flowers

Good to know that no one else could have possibly bought me flowers and she automatically assumes I bought them for myself.  For my birthday.  Oh, and she loves to call me an idiot.  It's her favorite.

White boobs

I'm more concerned with the "i've seen plenty of tan boobs" comment than anything else...

DUI

My mom doesn't drink, which is a good thing because she is weird enough as it is that I can't even imagine what a drunk Barb would be like.  But she loves to send us pictures holding a beer or wine and tell us she is "letting loose".  A few years ago she went to Hawaii with a couple girlfriends and they thought they were hilarious sending us back pictures with college guys holding beers. I can't even imagine what those poor guys had to deal with...

Sinning

Social media

My mom doesn't really "get" social media. One time she was stalking someone on facebook...a friend of a friend of a friend...and accidentally poked them.  She didn't even care, there's no shame in her game. 

Play tuze

My mom loves to play games on her phone, and after she makes a move she wants you to play immediately.  I get a lot of harassing texts from her telling me to play my turn, and if I wait too long she will just start a second or third game with me. For awhile we were playing the game "ruzzle".  For whatever reason she could never spell the name right, her "autocorrect always changed it" yet I have the same phone and have never had that issue.

Play fizzle

And my personal favorite, "Tuze". Oh, she also didnt know how to start her own games for awhile there either...

Tart

She isn't very tech savy, which results in a lot of weird autocorrects, butt dials, and apparently ghost texts.

Are you there? hey. hey!

Since I don't have a life, my mom expects me to respond to her texts within 30 seconds of her sending them to me.  Sometimes I have a life, other times I am asleep.  But regardless, if I don't answer quick enough I get a series of "are you there?"'s and "hey. hey. hey." or "Now I am worried".  Usually she will text my sister to see if she has heard from me. 

New glasses